Kisses and King-Slaps: What's in a New Year?
The first, the forgotten, and the thriving New Year celebrations of today and tomorrow
Happy New Year, dear readers!
I don’t really do New Year’s resolutions, but I do set new challenges for myself, just to keep things spicy. This month, I’m re-starting piano lessons—I took piano from ages 7-14, but I remember absolutely nothing. Wish me luck! And my second book, Vampires at Sea, sets sail October 7, 2025. Meaning a chunk of my year will be spent prepping for the arrival of this smutty, satirical snack of a novella re: emotional vampires on a queer Black Sea Cruise. It was so fun to write, my goal is to keep that vibe going for as long as I possibly can.
Why is a new year such a thing?
The turn of the wheel is supposed to be the moment for setting personal goals. Yet exactly when this magical transition between the old year and the new occurs depends entirely on whose calendar you’re looking at.
Coming soon, the Chinese Lunar New Year—dating back to the Shang Dynasty (1600-1046 BCE)—will arrive with a bang! upon the second new moon following the winter solstice. The celebration lasts 15 days, marking the first inkling of spring.
Folklore tells us a monster named Nian—now the Chinese word for “year”—hunted humans every New Year. To scare Nian off, villagers adorned their homes with red trimmings, burned bamboo, and made a ruckus. When gunpowder was invented in the 10th century, it proved the perfect means of scaring off monsters.
The Islamic and Jewish calendars also follow the moon: Al-Hijra, or the First of Muharram, occurs on the first day of the first month, when the crescent moon appears. So it’ll be year 1447 AH on June 26 or 27. While Rosh Hashanah—meaning “Head of the Year”—will begin on September 22, ushering in year 5786.
The Season of Janus
Julius Caesar instructed astronomers and mathematicians to draw up a solar calendar, which became the Julian calendar. (Then in 1582, Pope Gregory XIII made some adjustments.) In 46 BCE, Caesar chose January 1 to start the new year. January is the month of Janus, the two-faced god of change, beginnings, and thresholds. Janus beholds the old and new, looking forward and back at once. The Romans made New Year’s offerings to Janus to ensure good fortune. They also exchanged gifts with friends and neighbors.
Janus am I; oldest of potentates;
Forward I look, and backward, and below
I count, as god of avenues and gates,
The years that through my portals come and go.
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
The more reflective New Year, with dedication to spiritual growth and enhanced piety, was added on by the Christians. The combination of the two, plus some other cultural influences, can be seen in the celebrations of today: let’s party hard! Then sign up for a gym membership.
In Brazil, followers of the Candomblé and Umbanda religions make oceanside offerings to the goddess Iemanjá/Yemanja. Boats laden with gifts sail off into the sea, while revelers “jump” seven waves, giving thanks each time. But don’t turn your back on the water until your feet reach the sand—it’s bad luck.
Slap the King
Perhaps the oldest recorded new year kicked off around 2000 BCE in a land now known as Iraq. A 12-day festival, Babylonian Akitu began on the first day of the new moon following the spring equinox, when day and night are equally split. Coronations and other important events were held then, including the ritual marriage between the king and Ishtar, the powerfully paradoxical goddess of sex and war. Their union ensured the land would flourish.
Akitu included the ritual humiliation of the Babylonian king, who was brought before a statue of the god Marduk, stripped down, and made to swear he really was an honorable king, honest to gods. Most shocking of all, the high priest would slap the king. If the blow triggered tears, that meant Marduk was satisfied. Boy, cry!
During Akitu, Babylonians made sacred promises to the divine to pay their debts and return favors—much like the later Romans. Because a promise to a god can’t be forgotten, or broken.
The Persian New Year is called Nowruz, meaning “new day.” Celebrated by about 300 million people worldwide, Nowruz lasts 13 days and coincides with the spring equinox. Officially, Nowruz debuted among the Zoroastrians (possibly the first monotheists!) around the 6th-2nd centuries BCE. Monarchs hosted lavish banquets, gave out gifts, and accepted visits from their less illustrious subjects.
The Opening of the Year
The prize for the multi-new-year year goes to the ancient Egyptians, who established a 12-month lunar calendar, 30 days each. But the New Year festival of Wepet Renpet—“the opening of the year”—was held on various dates over the ages, sometimes occurring a few times per calendar year. At one point, the New Year began when Sirius, brightest star of the night, made an appearance around mid-July. That was also when the Nile would flood, nourishing the farmlands.
Wepet Renpet lasted five days and included feasting, heavy drinking, gift-giving, and religious rites. This was a joyous time of rebirth and rejuvenation—themes the eternity-obsessed Egyptians were keen on.
The Aztecs celebrated Yancuic Xihuitl on the 12th of March. Today, the Aztec New Year is honored by many in Mexico and the world over via dancing in colorful traditional costumes, ceremonial music, ocote (pitch-pine) candles, and fireworks.
Turn, Turn
So many New Year celebrations have occured at the turn of the seasons, a powerful period when darkness yields to the sun, or dry land is inundated with fertile waters (in ancient Sumerian, water and semen are interchangeable terms). Purifying fires promise fruitful livestock breeding, while dyeing eggs and eating fruits of the Earth, like beans, grapes, and seeds, guarantee bountiful good fortune.
The transition between seasons is a liminal state, and that is where the divine resides—and magic can be found; the cusp is where possibility exists, for good or ill.
Further Reading
“The History That Makes Black and Haitian New Year’s Traditions So Meaningful,” Time
“For Russian Children, New Year’s Celebrations Transformed By War,” The Moscow Times